[personal profile] brittany2922



made by [livejournal.com profile] alxnhnt22 



Title: 2 out of 3
Author: Brittany2922
Summary: Chloe, Oliver, Lois, Clark, and Bart learn about a new dating trick that several of them are dying to try out.
Characters: Chloe, Oliver, Lois, Clark, and Bart
Pairings: Chloe/Oliver, Lois/Clark
Rating: M purely for subject matter. No actual Smut.
Word Count: 6,453
Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville or How I Met Your Mother

Since I got such a great response from you guys on the New Years Eve story I wrote using a HIMYM plot I thought I'd try another.
This story uses the plot from episode 4x09 -- The Naked Man

Dedicated to [livejournal.com profile] ihearttvsnark  because she's awesome!

"Lucy did what?" Chloe shrieked as she fell into a fit of giggles, "You've got… to be kidding… me?" She spoke out in little gasps when she finally managed to slow her laughter, "I mean I know she's not the sharpest tool in the shed but still… that's…"

Lois held up her hand to silence her cousin, "you don't have to tell me, and believe me any words you're thinking about right now to describe my sister, I've already not only thought of, but also called her them to her face."

"I just can't believe anyone would be stupid enough to fall for something so… ridiculous."

"What's ridiculous?"

Both women looked up to see Clark and Oliver standing beside the booth staring down at them, their expressions confused and intrigued.

"It's nothing," Chloe said waving them off.

"I don't know," Oliver started nudging her with his elbow. She scooted over making room for him to slide in beside her, "I think Clark and I would both agree that anything that puts that kind of smile on your face is definitely something."

Chloe blushed and forced away the sudden swarm of butterflies assaulting her insides.

"Just something my sister did," Lois interrupted noticing her cousin's discomfort at Oliver's gaze.

"Well if it's getting this kind of reaction we have to hear it," Clark urged.

Lois sighed," fine… so Lucy went out with this guy and ended up hooking up with him…"

"Yeah, because that's a real change of pace." Oliver muttered earning him an elbow to his ribs. He shot his eyes in Chloe's direction, "What?"

"Be nice, "she said poking him in the chest with her pointer finger.

Oliver rolled his eyes and looked back to Lois, "sorry."

""Why? Did you lie?"

"Well… no… but she's still your sister."

"Yeah, well hold your apology until you hear the rest of the story… Wait where are your drinks?" she asked pointing to the empty space on the tabletop in front of each of them.

"Right here." Bart stood beside the table, five beer bottles held between his fingers. He placed them down, turned, grabbed a chair from a nearby table and slid it up to the edge of the table.

"God that's weird." Chloe mused looking at Bart and smiling before turning to Lois, "can you believe he's final legal to drink?"

Lois looked the younger man up and down and smirked, "no."

"Ha ha," Bart glared at her then turned back to Chloe, "you know Licious… there's plenty ofthings I'm old enough for now."

"Knock it off," Oliver told him with a glare.

"Why," Bart continued, "she's single… I'm single," he looked at Chloe and smirked, "you just say the word Gorgeous."

"Shut it shorty… I was telling a story."

"I'm so sorry Lois. Please continue."

"Thank you," she told him her voice dripping with sarcasm, "So like I was saying… Lucy went on this horrible first date, now when I say it was a horrible date that's putting it kindly… apparent ally the guy was a complete nightmare. So at the end of the night he takes her back to her place and asks to use her restroom…"

"Wait a minute," Clark interrupted, "please tell me she didn't just let some random guy into her apartment."

"Oh she did, she swears he was the least threatening guy she'd ever met… Well except for you of course," she explained patting him lovingly on the chest.

"Least threatening? What does that even mean?" he asked with a frown.

Lois and Chloe both laughed before Lois shushed him so she could finish her story.

"Anyway they get inside and Lucy gets a phone call. So she pointed him toward the bathroom and walked into the kitchen to take it. When she finished up her call she walked back into the living room and there he stood… completely naked!"

"Wit a minute, didn't you say she hooked up with him?" Oliver asked his eyebrows rose in disbelief.

Lois nodded pursing her lips together to keep from laughing, "she said she found his confidence and I quote… 'funny and charming'."

"Are you actually telling me that she actually fell for The Naked Man?" Bart asked.

"The what?"

"The Naked Man," he repeated, "I mean I've heard of it but I never actually thought it worked."

"There's a name for what this guy pulled?"

"Yeah. I never tried it, but if it worked on a hottie like Lucy I may need to reconsider." He looked toward Chloe, "sorry Licious, but a mans gotta eat you know."

"Its fine Bart, feast away, but just so you know you pretty much just lost the tiniest chance you had of me ever agreeing to go out with you." she teased.

"I would never try and use it on the future mother of my children Chloe. It's the kind of tactic you use when you know that there's no chance for a second date."

"I can't believe this whole thing has a name." Lois said shaking her head. "It can't really work. My sister must just be exceptionally stupid or something."

"I don't know I heard it has a two out of three success rate, but again I thought it was just talk."

"Or maybe Lucy's just a slut," Clark said quietly.

The table suddenly became silent and all eyes shot in his direction.

"Hey watch it Smallville, that's still my sister you're talking about."

"I'm sorry Lois, but there is only one reason to sleep with someone, and finding them 'funny and charming' isn't it."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. The only reason to have sex with someone is because you love them."

The entire table erupted into howls of laughter and Clark glared ahead at none of them in particular. The harder his gaze became the louder they laughed.

Finally Lois turned to him, "God Clark you are such a Pollyanna."

"Really Lois? How so?"

"The fact that you actually think we live in a world where people only have sex because they're in love is completely unrealistic."

"Just because that's not the way the world is doesn't mean it shouldn't be."

Lois let out a loud sigh, "Clark there are plenty of reasons to have sex."

"Oh really name three." He challenged.

"I can name fifty!"

"You cannot possibly name fifty." Clark said indecorously.

"Watch me." Lois reached inside her purse and pulled out her tablet and pen. "There's make up and break up sex." She quickly jotted them down.

"Ooh ooh, there's you're under the control of some sort of meteor freak and or rock sex." Chloe added. Everyone's eye shot in her direction and she waved them off, "don't ask."

"You just did a story on a sex shop and found some new toys you were dying to try out sex." Lois continued.

"Revenge!"

"Rebound!"

"Sex because you're bored."

"You've just had a really rough night on patrol and you've gotta work off the adrenalin," Oliver tossed in with a smirk, "Or you know, the condoms are about to expire. Waste not want not."

Chloe turned toward him, "Like you've ever had condoms last long enough to expire."

Oliver chuckled and shook his head.

"Birthday, anniversary, or Valentine's Day sex!"

Clark stared at them his jaw clenched and his arms crossed over his chest as he glared at his friends continuing to list reason after reason, and Lois continued to write them down.

"All right stop," Clark snapped, "naming all the possible reasons you can have sex, doesn't mean they're reasons you should have sex with someone."

"I'm gonna do it!" Bart announced suddenly.

"Do what?" Chloe and Lois asked at the same time.

"The Naked Man." he answered simply.

"Bart…"

"No, I think I can pull it off, in fact there's this waitress from my favorite burger joint that I've got a date with tomorrow night, I'll try it then." He lifted his beer to his lips and took a long pull from the bottle.

"Bart, maybe you should at least make sure there's no chance for something more with this girl before you try something like this out on her," Chloe suggested.

"Fine, but if there's no chance… I'm trying it."

Everyone watched him in silence as he began to formulate the best plan of action…


Bart

The date had gone well enough.

Megan was an okay girl, a little too dull and quiet for Bart's taste though. Which is why by the time the waiter brought them dessert he'd already decided that he definitely didn't want a second date.

So, he began to put his plan for The Naked Man into effect.

The restaurant he took her to was only a few blocks from her apartment so he suggested that she let him walk her home. They strolled slowly hand in hand down the nearly deserted sidewalk. They were moving far too slowly for his tastes but he was determined to do this, he was going to do The Naked Man, and it was going to work.

When they finally reached her front door, she leaned over to kiss him. It was a short kiss and when Bart pulled back he asked if he could possibly use her bathroom, using the excuse of having to walk back to the restaurant and drive home before he'd be able to go if he didn't. She stared at him suspiciously for several seconds before nodding and walking up the few concrete steps to the front door to her apartment building.

Once inside the apartment she pointed him toward the bathroom and walked to the kitchen asking over her shoulder if he'd like to stay for a cup of coffee.

He accepted and waited until she was safely out of ear shot before stripping off all his clothes and pulling out his cell phone from the pocket of his discarded pants. He quickly dialed Oliver's number.

It took several rings but the older man finally picked up.

"Queen."

"I'm in."

"What?"

"I'm inside her apartment and she's making coffee as we speak."

"So you're really gonna do this?" He asked the surprise evident in his voice.

"Of course, I just…" He stalled not quite sure the best way to word to the other man his concern.

"Just what?" Oliver finally asked

"I can't decide the best way to pose." Bart admitted.

Oliver chuckled, "Oh, well without going into details… and you better not, what do you have in mind?"

"Maybe the thinker? She's got a decent coffee table I can use to prop up my foot."

"No don't do that, Women are weird about feet on the table."

"Oliver I'm gonna be completely naked, do you really think my feet on the table is going to be an issue?" he whispered into the phone.

"Maybe not but do you really wanna risk blowing this on something as stupid as where you put your feet."

"Probably not… What about the Burt Reynolds?"

"Oh yeah because feet on the table might be an issue but your naked ass on her couch would be just fine." he bit out sarcastically.

Bart growled softly, "oh I got it… The Superman."

Oliver laughed, "perfect, you don't have to worry about limb placement, plus you get the added bonus of freaking Clark out when you tell him you used it."

"All right, I think I got this."

"Thank God, because I don't think I can handle anymore of this conversation. Good luck," Oliver said before disconnecting the call.

Bart tossed his phone on top of his pile of clothes, shifted his legs slightly apart, he placed his fists on his sides, and waited for Megan to return. He didn't have to wait long.

"Hey Bart," she called, as she passed the threshold between the kitchen and the living room, her eyes locked on the tray in front of her, "I wasn't sure what you took in your coffee but I hope regular milk and sugar are…" The tray in her hands crashed to the floor and she swiftly covered her eyes with her right hand. "What the hell are you doing?" she yelled.

"I just thought…" he started.

Megan dropped her hand and glared at him, "Oh I know what you thought," she pointed toward the door, "Get out!"

"Wait just give me a minute to…"

She stalked toward him and noticed his pile of clothes on the floor beside him. She quickly lowered herself to the ground and lifted them from the ground, "now!"

"Okay, but I need my…"

"Oh no. I think since you like being naked so much you can just walk back that way!"

Bart cringed this was not good. He basically had two options, use his super speed to get his clothes and risk exposing more then just his nude body to the woman in front of him, or leave and as soon as he was out of sight super speed to Watchtower for a spare set of clothes.

The second choice was way more appealing.

"Okay, I'm sorry." He slowly backed away from her and toward the front door, once on the other side he moved out of sight from her peep hole and ran to Watchtower.

As soon as he entered the large room he knew he was in trouble. He made quick work of putting on fresh clothes and slowly walked toward Chloe and Oliver who were both hunched over the screen embedded in her desktop.

"Wow," Oliver said as soon as he saw him, "really living up to that whole fastest man alive thing huh?"

"Shut up. The Naked Man sucks!"

They both continued to laugh at him as he crossed the room and plopped down on the couch.

"You think it sucks now, wait until it sinks in that you can't go to your favorite burger joint anymore." Chloe told him with a smirk.

"Why wouldn't I be able to… oh shit."


Lois and Clark

"So, I've decided to Naked Man Clark."

Chloe choked on the few pieces of popcorn she had just popped in her mouth and began to cough violently. Lois stood from the couch and moved behind her cousin. She patted her on the back several times until Chloe finally stopped and spun around to look at her older cousin wide eyed, "Please tell me I just heard you wrong."

Lois sat back down beside her on the couch and grabbed the large bowl of popcorn from Chloe's lap and placed it on the small table in front of them, "I think you've had enough now that you've already nearly choked to death."

"Stop playing a mother hen, and answer me… did I hear you say that you were gonna try that stupid little move on your fiancée?"

"Yes you did, tonight… Me, Clark and the Naked Man… or Naked Woman as the case may be." she ended her statement with an affirmative nod and smiled.

"Oh God Lois, why?"

"Because he hasn't stopped pouting since the other night at the bar, and desperate times call for desperate measures."

"So you think using The Naked Man on Clark is going to end the fight between the two of you?" She asked skeptically.

"Think about it Chlo… If I do this and Clark gives in… which lets be honest… we both know he will, and then he'll have to admit he was wrong, and then everything will be fine again." She smiled proudly at her decision.

"Right because we both know how much Clark loves being proven wrong, and what he loves even more is admitting to it."

"Well if nothing else the sex will certainly cheer him up."

"Okay so you might be right about that." Chloe admitted with a small chuckle.

"You know Chlo, I've been thinking," Lois leaned in closer to her cousin and spoke in an overdramatic stage whisper, "maybe you should try it."

"Try what?"

Lois smiled at her impishly, "you know what."

Chloe held up her hand and shook her head vigorously, "Lo, there is no way. I don't even have anyone to do it with, and I'm sure as hell not going to go on some random date with some random guy to try it."

"You know you could always try it on…"

"On no," Chloe stood from the couch and backed away from her cousin as Lois smiled at her knowingly and Chloe felt her cheeks grow warm, "don't you dare start up with that again."

"You know what, it's time you open your eyes cuz, you and Ollie have this thing that neither of you is willing to act on, so please just go for it already, because the two of you are driving me crazy!"

"Okay, I'm gonna tell you this one last time and then I never want to hear you mention it again. Oliver and I are just friends, we will always be just friends, and under no circumstances will it ever be anything more then that, so stop it already."

"Just friends huh? Then tell me this when was the last time you went on a date?"

Chloe sighed heavily, "I don't know. A couple of months I think."

"Try four months… it was that guy who took you to the great sushi restaurant, remember?"

"Maybe…"

"And when was the last time Ollie went out on a date?"

"Oh god, how should I know, it's not like I read his date book."

"He has a date book?"

"No… It was just… Lois I have no idea about the details of Oliver's love life."

"Fine when was the last time you saw him on the cover of the Inquisitor, or on one of those entertainment 'news' shows." Lois waited for some kind of response, "No answer," she snipped finally, "well I have one… it's been well over three months."

"Oh, it has not."

"Yes, it has, wanna know how I know?"

"No."

"I know," she continued ignoring Chloe's answer, "because every wanna be gossip columnist at the Planet knows that I'm friends with him and they keep trying to get me to give them inside information."

"Lois…"

"And who exactly do you spend all your free time with… besides me and Clark of course?"

Chloe glared at her refusing to answer, "Okay fine forget all that, how about you answer this one… you do have feelings for him, don't you?"

Chloe opened and closed her mouth several times obviously trying to let out a denial to her cousins accusation.

"I rest my case. You don't wanna try going about it this way that's fine, but I do think you should find a way to tell him how you feel."

Lois stood from the couch and walked over to her cousin giving her a quick hug, "I gotta go, can you handle cleaning up on your own?"

"Don't I always?"

"Thanks cuz," Lois said walking toward the door and putting her shoes and jacket before throwing her purse over her shoulder, "and don't worry I promise to call and give you all the juicy details."

"Please don't."

Lois winked at her and walked out the door.

Twenty minutes later she entered the Kent farmhouse. She and Clark had been living there together in for the past year. She still couldn't believe that she, Lois Lane, willingly lived on a farm. The day he'd asked her to move in and she had accepted without hesitation was the day she knew for sure that she was a goner.

She walked into the living room throwing her coat and purse on the couch before heading into the kitchen.

She found Clark standing at the sink washing his hands, "hey." she said walking up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist, "how was your day?"

"Fine," he answered coldly.

"Oh my God, are you really still that mad?"

"Are you really still trying to reach number fifty on that stupid list?"

"Of course."

"Then yep… I'm still mad." He pulled away from her and headed toward the stairs.

"Where are you going?"

"To take a shower."

Lois rolled her eyes as she watched him stomp up the stairs. Everything in her wanted to run after him and tell him how stupid and juvenile he was being, but she wouldn't, that could mess with her plan. Besides getting to hear Clark Kent actually admit he was wrong about something was worth biting her tongue for.

She stood in the bedroom near the foot of her and Clark's bed, her body only covered by a thin silk robe as she listened for the shower to finally shut off.

When it did she pulled the thin straps of the robe and slid the fabric from her shoulders letting it pool at her feet.

Seconds later the door swung open revealing Clark Kent wrapped in nothing but a towel. He stared at her his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. He stepped the rest of the way in and looked her up and down.

"I know what you're doing?" he said his voice shaky and uneven.

"Yeah… well is it working?"

Clark simply nodded and took several steps toward her.

"So are we still fighting?" she asked moving a hand to one hip and popping the other to one side.

"Like I could fight with you now."

"That's what I was counting on," she told him with a smirk.

He moved toward her dropping his towel along the way before pulling her body to his.

"Because you're naked… number forty nine!"

She squealed as he tossed her on the bed, "don't feel bad though… hard as I tried I couldn't come up with one last reason." she knew she was pouting but she couldn't help it. The words 'so close and yet so far' were continuously playing over and over in her head.

Clark slid down on the bed beside her, "Lois?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you even add love as a reason?" he had a small knowing smirk on his face.

Lois quickly threw her hands over her face, "Oh my God, I forgot."

He moved on top of her and stared down at her, "well now you have fifty." he said crashing his lips to hers.


Chloe and Oliver

Chloe watched in disbelief as Clark walked into the kitchen whistling. He leaned down and placed a quick kiss to Lois's lips.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," he told her with a small smirk.

He then turned to look at his best friend, "morning Chloe."

"Morning Clark, you're certainly in a good mood." she commented trying to suppress her laughter.

"I had a really great night last night, that's all." he turned back toward the stairs, "you ladies enjoy your coffee," he called over his shoulder.

Chloe shook her head, "Well I see you pulled it off."

"Was there ever really any doubt?"

Chloe shook her head and took a long gulp of her coffee.

"So…have you given any thought to trying it out for yourself?"

"Lois we've already been through this."

Lois held up her hands in defeat, "okay, okay, but you can't blame me for trying; all I want is for you to be happy Chlo."

"I know that."

"So please agree to at least think about it."

"Fine, I'll think about it," she relented rolling her eyes.

"Good," Lois nodded and took another gulp from her mug, "now I believe I promised you details," she said wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Chloe groaned, it was going to be a long morning.

Later that night Chloe found herself sitting beside Oliver on his couch at the clock tower. Her legs were tucked under her and she held a glass of red wine in her hand, as she sat sideways on the couch. Oliver's feet were propped up on the coffee table in front of them with his arms crossed over his chest.

Lois's words from the day before kept creeping into her mind and were forcing her attention away from the movie they were both supposed to be watching. She glanced at him for just a second before continuing to pretend to focus on the TV.

There was no way she could pay attention to some stupid movie right now. After months of trying her older cousin's words had really seemed to get to her this time, and the more she thought about those words, the more little things she'd never let herself notice started to invade her mind.

A simple placement of a hand on the small of her back when ever they were in public together.

The way he always seemed to make her coffee just right, even though she was fairly certain that before her he'd never bothered to learn how someone else even took theirs.

The look in his eyes whenever any other man, even Bart, flirted with her.

But the sighs weren't just on his side.

Whenever he smiled at her recently her body would react. She'd get tightness in her chest and a fluttering feeling in her stomach.

She couldn't stand the idea of him dating. When Lois had asked her when the last time Oliver had a date she pretended to have no idea, but honestly she remembered every detail of that night, and the knots that formed in her stomach when she saw the tabloid picture of him and his latest 'conquest'.

Oliver shifted in his seat moving slightly closer to her as he untangled his arms and clasped his hands together then he stretched them out in front of himself.

Chloe had to bite her lip to keep from moaning at the sudden effect the movement of his perfectly sculpted biceps and forearms had on her. She then realized how closely they were actually sitting. Her knees were resting on his thigh closest to her, and the heat from his body seemed to penetrate through the heavy denim of her pants.

She needed to focus on something on anything that wasn't her best friend and they way his t shirt fit him perfectly. The way his gorgeous mouth twitched into a small smirk just before he laughed at anything on the screen. The way his pants…

Oh this was not good, she didn't just need to distance her mind from her thoughts she needed to distance her body from his.

Yes distance was definitely the key, but she needed to somehow get away without tipping him off to what was going on in her head.

She started slowly stretching her arms above her head as if trying to work out kinks in her arms and shoulders… then with her arms still in the air she leaned back pretending to try and stretch out her back. After several seconds she righted herself and leaned back forward prepared to lift herself from the couch under the guiles of stretching out her legs as well.

She tried her hardest not to look in his direction but when she felt his gaze on her she glanced at him.

Oliver was staring at her.

But it wasn't the 'what the hell is she doing' look she expected to see in his eyes, instead in was something else. His eyes were dark, so dark they nearly looked black instead of his normal warm brown that always had reminded her of milk chocolate, and his lips, the lips she had been staring at just moments before were slightly parted as his breath came out in shorter near pants.

They locked eyes for several seconds, and she could swear she noticed his lips moving closer to hers.

A sudden rush of inner warning bells started to ring in her mind.

This was not good.

Ollie was her friend.

Ollie was her colleague.

Ollie was her… Ollie.

If they took this any farther it could ruin everything. Every corner of her life, business and personal, blown apart in a matter of seconds, when whatever they were about to do took the course it very well could and crashed and burned.

She suddenly felt the warmth of his breath on her lips and realized he was just a whisper away.

Warmth, that's all she felt, her entire body felt like it was on fire.

She needed to get away… NOW.

She quickly lifted herself and pulled her legs from under her body. She stumbled from the couch landing on her backside when she did. She jumped up as she felt the embarrassment surge through her body.

"I have to go… the bathroom… I'm just gonna…" she sounded like an idiot, and she couldn't bare the look of confusion that was now plastered across his face. She quickly turned on her heel and rushed from the room. Once inside she closed and locked the door behind her.

After walking the short distance to the sink she turned the water on full blast before reaching in her pocket and pulling out her cell phone. She quickly dialed her cousin's number and tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for Lois to answer.

"This better be important Chlo, because Clark and I were just about to…"

"Lo, just shut up for a second." she snapped and instantly felt guilty for her clipped tone.

"Chloe, are you okay?" Lois asked obviously not bothered by it at all.

"No. Ollie… and I… and we almost…"

"Oh my God, did you almost have sex with Oliver?" Lois asked her screech so loud it definitely rivaled Canary's sonic scream.

"No. but Lois… he was about to kiss me."

"Really? Well then why the hell are you on the phone with me? Get your ass out there and finally get some!"

"Lois it's not that simple."

"Yes it really is… okay how about this I'm gonna ask you the same question I did yesterday. The one you wouldn't answer… Do you have feelings for Oliver?"

"Yes." she admitted softly.

"Then there's nothing else to say. You need to go for it."

"Lois if I do this… it could screw everything up."

"And pretending the situation isn't happening… how's that working out for you? Come on you and I both know it's only a matter of time before whatever it is that you two feel for one another spills over into everything you both say and do. You need to stop being so cautious and give it a chance."

"And if I can't?"

"Then you may need to accept the fact that not acting on it might do more harm then good. Do you really want to lose him because you were too scared to take a chance?"

Lois was right.

"Lo, I gotta go."

"That a girl." Lois said before disconnecting the call.

Chloe placed her phone on the edge of the sink and stared at her reflection in the mirror of the medicine cabinet.

Lois had said just the day before that desperate times call for desperate measures, and she was right.

If she went back in there and just tried to kiss him there was a chance he'd think that she was only doing it to spare him the hurt she saw flash in his eyes just before she ran from him like he had some sort of contagious disease. She needed to make sure he realized that she really wanted him as much as she now realized he wanted her.

She slowly lifted her shirt over her head and made quick work of unclasping and removing her bra. She then undid her pants and lowered them from her body along with her underwear.

Chloe stood in front of the mirror, taking slow deep breaths. She could do this, she knew she could. Grabbing a towel from the back of the door she wrapped it securely around her body and tucked the one edge into the top.

She unlocked and opened the door then took several more deep breaths and stepped out, as she silently padded down the hallway she listened for any sounds from Oliver or the movie they had been watching just before she had freaked out and bolted from the room, but all she heard was silence.

After one final calming breath she pulled the towel loose and let it fall to her feet before stepping into the living room.

Her jaw dropped.

Oliver stood in front of the TV, his hands gripped into fists and resting on his hips, but that wasn't the shocking part, the part that had her at a complete loss for words was that Oliver was naked. Completely naked. As in wearing nothing but his cocky smirk as he drank in the sight of her standing before him as bare as he was.

Neither of them spoke or moved for what seemed like forever, and the silence was deafening. She couldn't take it anymore. She crossed the room and threw her arms around his neck and pulled his lips down to hers. When they finally pulled apart Chloe realized that somehow she had ended up in his arms bridal style, He looked down at her his eyes sparkling with mirth.

"You Naked Manned me," he teased lightly.

"Yeah well you Naked manned me," she accused back.

"Yeah I did," he admitted with no sound of regret in his voice, "I figured it was the best way to go, with most women taking off my shirt would be enough, but you… you Chloe Sullivan are much harder to get through to."

He lowered his lips to hers again as he carried her to the couch and lowered her down to it. When he stood back up to full height he stared down at her looking up and down the length of her body.

"Oh my God!" She shrieked.

"What?" he asked suddenly concerned.

"You did the Superman pose… Clark is gonna kill you!" she said giggling wildly.

"He'll get over it." he said as he covered her body with his.

The Naked Man… guaranteed 2 out of 3 success rate.


The End

Okay so I know there was no actual smut but hopefully y'all liked it anyway! Also I was thinking that if any of you had any other episodes of HIMYM that you'd like me to use for a Chlollie plot let me know and I'll see what I can come up with.

Thanks for reading!

 


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Date: 2011-01-11 05:32 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
It's been hilarious. I've loved it. And, by the way, The Naked Man is one of my favourite episodes of HIMYM.
Congrats, greatly written

Date: 2011-01-11 05:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kryptolori.livejournal.com
That was so funny, i don't watch himym so i had no clue about the naked man lol great stuff:)

Date: 2011-01-12 11:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thanks! HIMYM is an awesome show, and The Naked Man IMO is one of the best episodes so I couldn't resist witing this once the idea came to me!

I'm really glad you liked the story and thanks so much for taking the time to leave me some feedback! :)

Date: 2011-01-11 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sxymami0909.livejournal.com
LMAO This was freaking epic! I don't even have any words for it! So awesome! Adding it to memories! :-D

Date: 2011-01-12 11:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Wow, thank you so much! I really appericate your kind words, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story! :)

Date: 2011-01-11 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vicks-svq.livejournal.com
oops, that came up as annonymous... it was me ;D

Date: 2011-01-12 11:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
I'm really glad you liked the story, The Naked Man is one of my favs too.

Thanks so much for reading and taking some time to leave some feedback!

Date: 2011-01-11 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearttvsnark.livejournal.com
*flails*

Best.Story.Ever.

OMG, Brittany. This is a million times better than I imagined when you told me you were going to write this. I was LMAO as they talked about Lucy and I died when Clark came right out and called her a slut.

I love that Bart was familiar with the Naked Man and couldn't wait to try it. And I love that Clark was the one who thought love was the only reason to have sex. I was literally laughing out loud when they were shouting the reasons and he was getting angrier and angrier. I'm so glad I'm at home because there's no way I would have been able to control myself at work.

The Ollie/Bart phone call had me in tears from laughing so hard, especially when he settled on the Superman pose. And then when he went to Watchtower after she threw him out and Chloe pointed out he couldn't go to his burger place anymore. *dies*

Lois and Clark - awesome. I love Lois so much and it was cracking me up that Clark was still angry and pouting about it. I could totally see him being that way. Then when he was all happy the next day and whistling...haha.

Of course Chloe has been keeping her feeling for Ollie to herself. I felt bad for her when she was thinking about the exact last time he'd gone on a date. Aw. And I loved that she could see he wanted her too and still panicked and ran away. That was so Chloe-esque. Loved the phone call with Lois and Chloe finally deciding to take a chance...

They naked man'd each other! LMAO again. That was perfect. Of course Ollie was all cocky about it too. (He's so hot). So glad they got together. Hee! This whole thing was so awesome and it didn't need the actual smut.

Thanks so much for the dedication! You are awesome too, my friend. ♥

Date: 2011-01-12 03:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thank You! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

I was a little worried that Clark calling someone a slut wouldn't go over so well, but for some reason when I wrote it out it just seemed right, so I kept it. Besides it's Lucy and after her stunt in the barn in Ambush, I didn't think anyone would get too upset about it.

Yeah, of all the people on the show Clark really does seem like the one that would have those kind of views on sex. Him pouting as they go off on all the different reasons was my favorit part to write!

Yes poor Bart, it didn't work AND he can't go to one of his favorite places anymore! lol

lol them Naked Manning each other was actually not my idea. I told my husband I was writing this and told him how the first three parts were gonna play out and that I was trying to figure out if Chloe or Oliver should be the one to do it. He's the one who insisted that they both needed to do it.

Did I mention The Naked Man is his Fav, HIMYM episode too?! lol

Thanks so much for the great feedback!

Date: 2011-01-11 05:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] serafina19.livejournal.com
Well... you already have Slap Bet, but I got an idea... "The Mosby." I think it would be neat to see them go back and forth on their feelings for each other.

Except now I think I have a better idea... the episode (called "Definitions" I think) where Lily locks Barney and Robin and tell them to define their relationship... I think that would be awesome! It might even work as a sequel to this one.

Anyways... back to this one... I enjoyed this more than the HIMYM episode. Poor Bart though... you have to feel for the guy.

Date: 2011-01-12 03:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
I absolutely love the idea of using "Definitions" for one of these stories. I'm not sure if I'll use it as a sequel or not, but one way or another I'm gonna write a story with that plot.

I'm so glad you liked the story, and thanks so much for the story idea and the awesome feedback! :)

Date: 2011-01-11 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sjww.livejournal.com
this was hilarious smiling all the way through - poor bart and even worse he cant go back to his burger bar - lol!

going into my memories this one - just fab!

Date: 2011-01-12 03:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it! :)

Date: 2011-01-11 06:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soapfan101.livejournal.com
haha awesome oneshot

Date: 2011-01-12 03:12 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-01-11 06:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] danisige.livejournal.com
I love it! lol
It was great, really, really funnny. :D

Date: 2011-01-12 03:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thank You! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Date: 2011-01-11 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] acemademoiselle.livejournal.com
That was super funny! I love HIMYM, and the naked man episode was so funny. I loved your reference to the superman pose!
Great work!

Date: 2011-01-12 03:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! The Naked Man is my Fav. episode, so once I got the idea for this I had to use it! lol

Date: 2011-01-11 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chlavis333.livejournal.com
Hilarious! I love HIMYM and that ep was so funny and it's great seeing the SV peeps go through and of course Chlollie.

Date: 2011-01-12 03:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Naked Man is an awesome episode. It's actually my favorite.

I'm glad you liked this one and thanks for leaving me some feedback!

Date: 2011-01-11 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ms-mojo-risin71.livejournal.com
OMG THAT WAS AMAZING!!! The Naked Man is probably one of my favorite HIMYM episodes and you did an amazing take on it!! Especially the Superman pose! Too funny. You mentioned Slap Bet which also another favorite. Can't wait to see what else you come up with!

Date: 2011-01-12 03:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
The Naked Man is my Favorite.

I am planning one for Slap Bet but it may take a bit for me to get that one out, there are a few others I wanna do first while I work out all the details for SB. Hopefully it'll be worth the wait!

I'm so glad you liked this one and thanks for the feedback.

BTW I gotta ask where you got your icon, it's hilarious! I would love some HIMYM ones.

Date: 2011-01-11 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] modern-fanatic.livejournal.com
I absolutely loved this.

It was so funny. I love that you included HIMYM. It was so entertaining to see one thing from HIMYM be put into Smallville. Awesome job. :)

Date: 2011-01-12 03:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thanks I'm glad you liked it!

I'm gonna write several more using HIMYM plots, hopefully you'll like those as well!

Thanks for the feedback! :)

Date: 2011-01-11 11:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iluvaqt.livejournal.com
Hahah I love it. So many great lines I can't quote them all and pour Bart. He's so unlucky in love and sex. Poor guy. If I didn't think trying on Lucy would be a serious step down for him, I'd say they should push in her direction for a sure thing. :P

Cute how they both Naked Manned each other. I so wasn't expecting Oliver to do it too. :D Seems they really are on the same wave length in every way.

And really there is only two reasons why a guy wouldn't date. Either he's still hurting from his last break up, or he's waiting for the right girl to notice him, or he's trying to work up the nerve to get her to notice him ;)

Date: 2011-01-12 03:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thank You! I'm glad you liked it!

You're right Bart is way too good for Lucy! :)

Them Naked Manning each other was actually not my idea. I told my husband I was writing this and told him how the first three parts were gonna play out and that I was trying to figure out if Chloe or Oliver should be the one to do it. He's the one who insisted that they both needed to do it. lol

Thanks so much for the feedback! :)


(no subject)

From: [identity profile] iluvaqt.livejournal.com - Date: 2011-01-13 04:31 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2011-01-11 11:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saurina.livejournal.com
This was so frigging hilarious, I can't remember the last time I've laughed so much. Thank you so much for that Brittany..:D

Date: 2011-01-12 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thanks so much, I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

Oh and welcome back, glad you're feeling better! :)

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] saurina.livejournal.com - Date: 2011-01-12 08:22 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2011-01-12 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 552158.livejournal.com
I loved how you twisted it in the end :) I am so happy you are doing a somehow HIMYM crossover style :D

Would be great if you could incorporate somehow the naughty christmas songs Barney sang about Ted's sister or the latest "Blitz" curse in the next one :D that would be hilarious :DDD

Date: 2011-01-12 04:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thanks so much I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I probably be able to use those in the next one, but I'll add them to my list to see what I can come up with for down the road! :)

Thanks for the feedback!

Date: 2011-01-12 12:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smiles4ever157.livejournal.com
EPIC! Completely epic! lol. This was hilarious. Great job.

Date: 2011-01-12 04:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thanks so much, I'm really glad you liked it! :)

Date: 2011-01-12 01:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slytherinpunk.livejournal.com
LMAO! This was charming and hilarious! Thank you so much for making me laugh after a bad snow day =)

Date: 2011-01-12 04:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thank You! Glad you got a laugh out of this.

Snow... Ugh, I live in Ohio and it's everywhere right now, so I get where you're coming from! LOL

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] slytherinpunk.livejournal.com - Date: 2011-04-02 07:56 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com - Date: 2011-04-12 08:59 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2011-01-12 02:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] insanityclings.livejournal.com
Hahaha I love it!! HIMYM FTW!

Ooh other Chloillified episodes... the Slap Bet! Since according to [livejournal.com profile] serafina19 you already made a fic of the Slap Bet, can I ask what the name of that fic is so I can read it? Please?

Also I think it'd be funny to see something involving laser tag (like in the episode Zip, Zip, Zip). *points to icon*

Date: 2011-01-12 11:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
I actually haven't written one for Slap Bet yet, it's just one of the episodes I plan on using, hopefully it'll be done soon but I'm writing these in between updates for my multi chapter WIP so I'm not sure when exactly the next one of these will be up.

I'll add Zip, Zip, Zip to my list and see if I can come up with something.

Thanks so much for the feedback, I'm really glad you enjoyed this story!

Date: 2011-01-12 06:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lynzie914.livejournal.com
This was so completely awesome! You have no idea how excited I was that you did a Chlollie fic based on an ep of HIMYM and hten I saw that it was this one and got even more excited! I love the naked man episode and I love how you fit it in for this one! You had me cracking up. I love how Clark was against hte naked man until Lois pulled it on him. And poor Bart, had to be the 1 out of the three, despte being hte only one who had heard of it. And I LOVED that in the end Ollie and Chloe both pulled hte naked man on each other. It was just so adorable. Again, this was completely awesome!!!

Date: 2011-01-12 04:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
OMG I FREAKIN LOVE YOU ICON!!!! Is it snaggable?

Tha Naked Man is my favorite episode! I wish I could claim that Chloe and Oliver both doing it was my idea but it actually wasn't. :(

I told my husband the plot for this one and he told me that they both had to do it.

I'm really glad you liked this one and thanks fo he awesome feedbak!

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] lynzie914.livejournal.com - Date: 2011-01-12 10:26 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2011-01-12 08:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nienna87.livejournal.com
That was completely epic! And freaking hilarious! I was laughing so hard at all of them! I love that Chloe and Ollie naked manned each other, that had me rolling. And poor Bart getting shut down for his naked man....but I love that he struck the Superman pose! hehehe Oh my word, this was hysterical! I loved it!

Date: 2011-01-13 09:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thanks, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)
(deleted comment)

Date: 2011-01-13 09:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

The playbook episode is hilarious, I'll add it to my list and see if I can come up with a good SV/Chlollie storyline for it! :)

Date: 2011-01-12 05:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madlenita.livejournal.com
I watch this episode HIMYM last weekend, but i didin't see ending ofthis, i will now...
Bes idea ever for 3 couple and 2 "success"...

Date: 2011-01-13 09:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
lol Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!

Thanks for the feedback! :)

Date: 2011-01-15 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] simply-steffv.livejournal.com
Epic! LOL That's all that comes to mind... Poor Bart, I wouldn't mind if he pulled the naked man on me ;) haha Kidding... sort of. Lol

This was hilarious, thanks for sharing. :D

Date: 2011-01-17 02:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thanks!

Poor Bart, I wouldn't mind if he pulled the naked man on me ;) haha Kidding... sort of. Lol

I laughed so hard when I read this... Kyle is absolutely adorable, I recently saw him in an old episode of Cold Case, and he was amazing!

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and thanks for taking the time to leave me some feedback! :)

so great!!!

Date: 2011-01-17 08:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chlollie64.livejournal.com
it's really funny!! i like it so much!!!!

do you allow me to translate this fic in french?(i'm french & i'd like to make disover it to others french on a french forum "ta planete smallville")

Be sure that i'll write that is your fic and not mine, i'll put on the french forum the link of your journal, and i'll give you back the link where i'll post it.

Hope you will be agree because 2 out of 3 is so great that it deserves to be known.

bye!!

Re: so great!!!

Date: 2011-01-17 02:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brittany2922.livejournal.com
Thank You so much!

Go right ahead and translate, that's fine. I'm glad you enjoyed it enough that you would even want to! :)

Re: so great!!!

From: [identity profile] chlollie64.livejournal.com - Date: 2011-01-17 07:26 pm (UTC) - Expand

Re: so great!!!

From: [identity profile] chlollie64.livejournal.com - Date: 2011-01-24 08:58 am (UTC) - Expand
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